How to Overcome Codependency

Jessica Seburn

codependency, codependent behaviour, codependent relationship, overcoming codependency, self-improvement, relationships, mental health, counselling, therapy

Is it codependency or simply a desire to be connected? Although these concepts may sound similar to each other, they are vastly different. Having a secure connection is the ability to balance a healthy exploration of the world around us with a relationship we can return to when there is a need to be held, supported, or celebrated by the … Read More

How to Support Someone Through Grief

Jessica Seburn

grief, supporting someone through grief, helping someone through grief, self-care, therapy, counselling, mental health

When I was 18, my friend (I’ll call her Caden) lost her most important caregiver – her grandmother. Caden was transformed by grief and I felt helpless. I desperately wanted to provide some solace for her, and yet I said nothing. I felt paralyzed by not knowing how to reach out. Months later, I sobbingly apologized: “I’ve been a bad … Read More

5 Principles for Talking Politics with Friends and Family

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politics, discussing politics, family conflict, political views, discussion

How do you engage in discussions about politics with those you care about? For many, the answer is “I don’t!” Others engage eagerly in these discussions, but find themselves repeatedly caught in the muck of destructive conflict. There is another way – one that allows for respectful discourse and even strengthened relationships. In 2007, I was invited to participate in … Read More

4 Ways to Practice Humility in Relationships

It seems to me that the very basis of humility requires an acknowledgment and acceptance of our fundamental human need for relationship. Relationships enable us to experience and meet our needs for connection, belonging, acceptance, and love. Several years ago, I attended a conference where the speaker referred to the human body as a “skin suit” that, once unzipped, reveals … Read More

3 Tips to Connect with Your Child

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“Wow, he’s finally getting out of the house for the weekend,” my husband and I remarked to each other this morning, after our almost 15-year-old son left for his high school band camp. This isn’t a statement I expected to make when I had teenagers. Our society not only emphasizes the autonomous nature of adolescence, but goes as far as … Read More

5 Simple Steps to Random Acts of Kindness

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The Oxford English Dictionary defines “random” as “Having no definite aim or purpose; not set or guided in a particular direction; made, done, occurring, etc., without method or conscious choice; haphazard.” I am asking you to completely disregard the Oxford Dictionary definition of random. Instead, I want you to celebrate National Random Acts of Kindness Day on February 17th, 2016 and every … Read More

3 Ideas for Building Healthy Relationships

Building Healthy Relationships in Adulthood Human beings are relational. We are social creatures, and we need to be connected to others throughout our lives. This is easily understood in infancy and childhood, when we know that having reliable, safe, and emotionally nurturing adult caregivers is essential for healthy child development. However, this need for reliable relationships does not end as … Read More

3 Ways to Avoid Conflict and Improve Relationships

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“I wonder what it’s like to be married to you…” I turned. The workshop participant was behind me, to the side, looking thoughtful, pensive, and curious. It wasn’t a pick-up, but a pondering. I have taught conflict resolution skills for 20 years and it’s a question I occasionally get asked. While all my training is workplace-related, the application in the … Read More

How to Be a Strong Family When Facing Mental Illness

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Serious illness often lands like a bomb in the middle of the family system, disrupting routines and scattering the family members. When it is a mental illness, the impact can be particularly severe, compounded by stigma, fear and social isolation. What can a family do to maintain strong relationships with each other when mental illness has joined the family? Family … Read More

6 Tips for Dealing with a Difficult Person

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two women in conflict

When I started teaching conflict resolution skills many years ago, I believed that simply using those skills would solve most problems. I was naïve. People kept coming to me and saying something like, “Eric, these skills are great, but what do you do about the person who is just DIFFICULT?” After some years of experience, I realized that they were … Read More